Important Questions you should ask your Online Dating

truthOnline dating can be very entertaining and gratifying.
Since its inception, online dating has continuously brought people together even though they may be worlds apart. Online dating makes bridges to connect people together, enjoy each other, and build dreams together.

However, it’s not always possible to instantly find somebody with whom to share the rest of your life with.
Online dating is a continuous, systematic process. It entails careful selection of words, pictures, and representations of the person involved in order to get the best results. Moreover, from the time you first find someone you think you could be interested in, remember the process will continue as you both get to know each other through a series of messages, chats, and other forms of communication.

Along with this comes the careful selection of words used and messages conveyed in order to establish natural, free-flowing, yet enlightening conversations. These are not just mere exchange of words and phrases but a way of getting to know each other.

Hence, it is extremely important to know which questions to ask so that you can get a better sense of who the other person is on the other side of the virtual screen.

Here are some of the questions that you should ask your e-friend in order to assess their personality and attitude. These questions will help to provide the necessary information regarding an individual’s personal convictions and preferences.

Those who are involved in online dating just have to keep in mind that when asking these questions, they should make it appear very natural so that they will not sound like they are being confrontational.
In addition, be sure that you are also prepared to answer the same.

1. What is the major error that people make when dating online for the first time?
This question will illustrate some idea about how the other person views the opposite sex. In this way, one could get an insight on the attitude of the other person and his or her personal beliefs on some important matters like dating and relationships.
2. What are you looking for in a guy/girl?
With this question, an individual can get hold of the qualities that the other person is looking for in a companion.
However, one should take note of how the other person tries to answer the question. If the reply is passed off with a joke or some other attempt at humour chances are they have not yet thought about the answer.
3. What is a really successful relationship?
One could get a good view on how the other person values relationship. It would be better to hear the other person provide an answer regarding how the two persons who are involved in the relationship should work together as they grow.
4. What is your view on online dating services?
Through this question, a person will be able to know if the other person had some serious negative experience concerning online dating or the other way around. In addition, through the answers of the other person, one could guess if he or she is still willing to consider online dating or not.
5. Did you fail on your last relationship?
Most people would certainly blame the other person in the relationship. Others blame themselves too much. It would be better to hear some answers like they (the couple) equally share the blame and that it is just time to part ways.

The point in asking these questions is to establish a solid foundation by finding out the kind of personality and attitude the other person has. Keeping communication open is what matters most.

The problem with a lot of people involved in online dating is that most of them do not have any idea how to carry the conversation. They do not know what questions to ask and how to assess the answers that they get.
Remember that asking some reliable questions will give you an edge and you’ll be more confident when the time comes to meet in person.

Tips for Managing a Long Distance Relationship

When it comes down to it, regular relationships where you are both in the same vicinity are hard enough. Let alone adding the stress of being apart. However, despite this, many people choose to establish and live in long distance relationships.

While it isn’t the most advisable of situations, if you are looking to begin a long distance relationship, read the tips and advice below. 

  1. Communication

Just like in a regular relationship, communication is number one! However, this piece of advice doesn’t simply mean talk to each other more, Instead, be mindful to manage your communication.

This means that you shouldn’t expect to send each other a message when you wake up and one before you go to bed each night. As adorable as it would seem, it only works in movies because they only need to do it once. In reality, however, things like this can become a chore and can be taken quite personally should one party forget.

Instead, find a balance where you both feel comfortable. For example, a consideration where you both only message each other when you have a number of items to discuss could be a good way to have a strong conversation and not a bunch of small texts.

  1. What’s the End-Goal?

It isn’t likely that you plan on doing this for the rest of your life, so what’s your end-goal? Whatever it is, keep it relevant and current. For example, if you are planning to be apart for 12 months while your country processes a visa application, openly discuss plans you are making for their arrival, to keep both of your eyes on the prize.

  1. Be Aware of Social Media

The last thing that your partner wants to see is a picture of you, drunk at a bar, with your arm around another person. As innocent as the picture may be, it’s the image that your partner is seeing. If you are going out for the night, tell them in advance. Or even better still, keep your unflattering photos like this off your social media accounts.

  1. Have Date Nights

If you were together you would eat some pizza and cuddle up on the couch while you watch Netflix. While you can’t do the cuddling, you can watch movies together and have small date nights. Services like Netflix allow users to watch shows and movies simultaneously and there is a range of phones and tablets on the Groupon Coupons page for T Mobile which includes a video calling app. While it may seem silly, do your best to set the mood at your end. For example, dim the lights and light some candles while the movie is playing.

  1. Don’t Become a Hermit

The worst thing that you can do is go to work and then come home and sit and wait for the time to pass. Not only is it going to send you crazy but it’s also going to have a negative impact on your relationship. Instead, do your best to stay social, such as going out for after-work drinks or even just taking yourself out to dinner or to see a film. Whatever it is to keep your mind positively occupied, consider it.

This isn’t a complete list of tips and points on advice when it comes to a long distance relationship, however, they are

Learning from the older generations

Most people will try dating people closer to their own age, it is an instinct we have due to many years of societal conditioning. Some people are just too judgemental, and they will look at you strangely if your partner is older than you; but maybe they just don’t understand the benefits that older people can bring to the table. Experience, wisdom, patience… there are indeed a lot of things we can learn if we open ourselves to newer possibilities; the question is: would you benefit from dating someone from the older generation?

Older means experienced

People who have lived longer know more things, and not just in an educational kind of way. Life experience brings things to the table that you can’t acquire unless you have gone through all the processes; and we can all really learn from this. This can be especially true when it comes to the bedroom department. Yes this sounds incredibly naughty, but you have to understand that older women will be better at sex because they have experienced it more. They know how do please you, and they know how to read into your mind if you’re not enjoying yourself. You should try Granny Hookups and see for yourself, there is always knowledge to be learned.

Older means wiser

Wisdom is something that we can all learn from, and this is probably why people enjoy spending time talking to their elders. There are a lot of things we can learn from a life’s worth of achievements: how to understand people, how to treat them well, what works and what doesn’t… Life is about being a better person, and we have to learn from the people who came before us. New generations are always self-centred, thinking their lifestyle is the best; but just because the world is evolving doesn’t mean we know it all. The best we can do is to spend some time with older generations and listen to their wise advice. Wisdom brings benefits to our lives; the better we understand things the better people we become.

Older means more patience

Age isn’t just about technique, but also about patience. A lot of people in their 20’s and 30’s can be very demanding, and if they don’t get what they want then they just dump you and move on to the next person that can provide them with what they want. People from the older generation aren’t so selfish and impatient; they understand that you have your needs too; it’s not just about them. This ‘me, me, me’ attitude from recent generations is actually a great turn-off, and it poses a lot of problems to those of us who can’t keep up to those standards. So if you want to be with someone who cares as much about you as they do themselves, then dating older people will bring more fairness to the table.

Do people only use free dating sites for sex?

You’ve probably noticed when you use a traditional and popular dating website that most people who register for free seem to be enquiring about sex, even when the website is supposed to be there for normal coupling. It is a certain trend that is happening and we can’t always blame people for it. After all who wants to pay for sex if they can get it for free? After all don’t they say that the best things in life can found for free? Well, the truth is a bit different, and whilst you can make the most of free dating subscriptions, the results are not really that great. The question is: does using free sites really work, and would you not be better off using a paid adult dating site instead?

Traditional dating sites

Ordinary dating sites are often used for coupling and serious relationships, but of course there are always those who try to make the most out of free subscriptions to try sex dating. But let’s be honest, this approach doesn’t really work. Most people looking for sex on traditional websites tend to be quite rude and sleazy about it all. They will send you messages that are often offensive and disrespectful, almost treating you like a piece of meat. These guys do not do themselves any favours, and in fact they tend to give sex dating a bad name. Ultimately if you want sex, there are plenty of adult dating sites out there, and believe it or not people who go there are a whole lot more polite and respectful.

Adult dating sites

The thing about most adult dating sites such as My Sex Hookups is that whilst you can join in for free, you actually have to pay to enable functions such as sending messages to other people. The very fact that people are paying for their subscription means that they don’t mess around so much, and they take things a bit more seriously. It’s a bit like making a commitment, once you pay you want to make sure that you don’t get kicked out for bad behaviour. Also, adult dating works a bit differently than normal dating. Even though it is a lot about sex, people aren’t as sleazy as you might expect. A lot people will just message you saying they’ve seen your profile and they might be interested in hooking up; as they know that disrespect simply doesn’t work.

Why use free sites for sex?

Whilst you get the commitment with paid adult dating sites, not paying makes it easier to hide behind an anonymous fake profile. Since nothing is paid for, the people have got nothing to lose so they don’t take it very seriously. For them it’s all a game of numbers. Adult dating is still about the quality of the people you meet, after all you’re still looking at having good sex and you don’t just pick anyone. So when people approach you for free about sex on a traditional dating site, you can be sure that their level of commitment will reflect how they treat you in bed. In other words, stick to adult dating sites if you want sex, because believe or not, people there are more serious and more respectful.

The best places to meet for a date

Dating is one of those activities that we all deal with differently. Some of us are nervous whilst others see it as a walk through the park; it all depends on our personality and how confident we feel about ourselves. Luckily internet dating does make it easier for us to contact new partners, so a lot of us get the chance to meet new people even if we find it hard. But all said and done, once you get past the internet stage, you still need to meet face-to-face eventually. When it comes to the real thing, choosing the right location to meet can have a big effect on how the date works out.

Traditional dating

Depending on what you are planning to do, you will want to choose your meeting place carefully. Let’s say you’re going on a normal romantic date, then a local restaurant or café will do fine, you’re not trying to hide from anyone. Admittedly you will still need some privacy so maybe don’t choose your local pub when you know all your mates are going to show up. However there are many different kinds of other dating activities out there.

Adult dating

If you are doing adult dating and you’re wondering where to meet for sex, then you need to approach the situation differently. Sex often requires more discretion, and some people just wish to remain anonymous. There are two places when it comes to a sex meet: the place you meet and the place you end up going to for sex. You can meet in a discreet café to briefly have a chat and a drink but ultimately you will want to take that party somewhere else if all goes well. You don’t want to follow them at home just yet, you need to make sure you can trust them first. Hotel rooms are a great neutral and discreet place to go to, until the two of you decide you are happy to use each other’s homes in the future.

Ask your date

Dating should be about making you comfortable, but it is also important that your date is happy if you want everything to work out. The last thing you want to do is to take things somewhere too crowded if you partner hates crowds for example. Just talk to your other potential half and ask then about what they like and more so about what they don’t like. This will help determine the right meeting place, and it will show you actually care about their feelings. That’s always a good way to get things started.

Discreet vs public

Ultimately you will find yourself weighting your choices between a public place and a discreet one. You want the place to be public so that the two of you can be standing on neutral grounds. Basically being left alone with a total stranger is not the ideal situation, and for the sake of safety you it shouldn’t be just the two of you. But you need to make a compromise between that and finding somewhere the two of you still feel intimate. So not having a huge crowd so you can still hear each other speaking is probably best. Like with everything, dating is all about finding the right compromise to suit the situation better. Just take your time to think and you should find that ideal place where your date can take place.

How to be better in bed

You’ve probably read loads of those articles that tell you how to become a sex god, but those articles often make it sound like you have to be the fittest and biggest man in the world or else you don’t stand a chance. The reality is that being decent in bed isn’t that complicated, you don’t need to work miracles to make someone enjoy your presence, in reality it is more about making sure you enjoy yourself; here is why.

Practice helps

Of course you will want to have some clue of what you’re doing, and the best way to discover sex is by trying things with new partners. You can hook-up with new partners by using websites like or use any other adult dating sites which specialise into sex. Either that or you can just venture into your closest local nightclub and see where the night takes you. The truth is that you have better chances if you use the internet; but going out to meet people face-to-face will teach you a thing or two about socialising; which is all part of eventually having sex. Practicing sex will help you to be more comfortable with being naked with another person; and that takes more than people think. A lot of us aren’t comfortable with our bodies, and the more we practice being naked the more comfortable we become; which goes a very long way when it comes down to having fun sex.

It’s not all on you

Sex is about two people having a good time. It’s not always up to you to come up with everything, and you would be putting far too much pressure on yourself if you think that you’re responsible for the pleasure of both you and your partner. In reality it is more about how you and your partner act, and as such you can split the responsibility equally between the two of you. Have you ever had nights when the sex just wasn’t good no matter how much effort you put into it? In the end you think it was your fault but if you tried your best then it is more likely that it was your partner’s fault for not trying hard enough. The bottom line is that as long as you show you are having a good time then your partner should also make that effort. It can’t all come from you, sex goes both ways.

Manage expectations

Expectations can really mess us up. We expect to have a great time and as a result we are often disappointed. The thing about sex is that we all expect that we will reach a climax; and we assume that from our partners too. But in reality, there is often the one person climaxing whilst the other is left to finish themselves off. It happens a lot so why expect such good sex with the ultimate climax? Instead why not just see it like that: both of you will have sex, you will have fun no matter what. It might not be the best sex but at least you will get naked for a bit of fun and enjoyment. Don’t expect to be great, and don’t expect that from your partner. Sex is physical but also very psychological; the more your head is charged the harder it is to have a good time. So just take things as they come; enjoy yourself and make sure your partner has a good time but don’t worry too much about them; don’t forget that they can look after themselves too. Focus on having fun and your partner will enjoy your enthusiasm; which will help them to have a good time.

Things You Must Know About Women

Most men find women mysterious and confusing. You find us difficult to figure out. It isn’t your fault. It’s not like anyone gave you a guide book on women in highschool to study.

Here are some of the mysteries about women revealed:

1) Before you even get to the door most women wonder if you are Mister Right.
2) She is just as anxious as you are about your first date.
3) Women like your undivided attention. Pay attention to what she has to say and she will be more interested in hearing about you. Also keep your eyes on her. Eyeing any of the other women in the room is a definite way to make that first date your last.
4) After the first date women pretty much know if and when they will sleep with you.
5) Many women don’t want to get married or at least not as early as they used to. Many women are staying single into their late thirties in favor of pursuing their own careers.
6) A woman can complain about her family all she wants but the second you criticize her family start packing your bags.
7) Asking a woman if you are the best she ever had is pointless. We will lie to avoid hurting your feelings. You will never know if you are the biggest, the best or last the longest.

Reasons Why Diamonds Are Still A Girl’s Best Friend

Marilyn Monroe made that phrase famous. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. That still makes a lot of sense. Here’s why.

Reason #1 diamonds are a girls best friend because they are so beautiful. Fiery, romantic diamonds light up her finger. White diamonds look beautiful with outfits in every color.

Reason #2 diamonds are forever. There are lots of beautiful things around. Why diamonds? Roses are beautiful, but they fade. Dresses are gorgeous, but after childbirth, or as she ages, that beautiful dress would not look as beautiful on her anymore.

Reason #3 diamonds are precious. Sure, moissanite may be what a girl might buy for herself, because of its lower price, but moissanite is man made. Diamonds are rare, natural stones. The diamonds that girls love are of the highest quality. The lower grade diamonds may be used in tools, but women look at the quality of the diamond. A large, high quality diamond would definitely impress.

Reason #4 diamonds are romantic. Especially when he is proposing to her with a diamond worth two months of his salary. It means sacrifice for love on his part. The fact that he loves her enough to save that sum to buy that diamond for her is a very romantic gesture that she will remember for years to come, each time she sees that diamond on her finger.

Reason #5 diamonds say that her man can provide for her very well. From the days when men would go out and hunt for animals to feed the family, to today, when most men go out there to bring in the money to support the family, women love being cared for. Being provided for. In many cultures, women look to marry a rich man. A man who can provide for them. If a guy can afford to give her diamonds, he can easily provide for her daily needs and for that of her children.

Reason #6 diamonds are practical. Like the song, diamond’s are a girl’s best friend. A kiss will not pay the bills. A rose isn’t going to pay for her rental. A diamond, on the other hand, in times of emergency, can be a life saver. A single diamond can be sold for enough money to pay for a woman’s bills when times get tough.

Reason #7 diamonds are a girl’s insurance. Ok, so now, there are insurance policies in paper, that promise to pay for her old age medical bills etc, but diamonds are a lot more beautiful. She holds and sees them. She wears them.

Everyone admires them. They assure her that even when she gets old, when she loses her looks, even if her guy leaves her for a younger woman, the diamonds would still be with her. A collection of diamond jewelry assures her that in her old age, or she is in dire need for cash, a piece of diamond jewelry could be sold, or pawned for much needed cash. Diamonds are a girl’s insurance.

Myths About Creating A Better Relationship

In my private practice for over 14 years no matter what my clients have come to see me about, there has always been an issue about a better relationship.

Here are 7 of the most common misconceptions my clients have related to me about having a better relationship. These misconceptions are followed by my perspective on each one of them.
Myth 1 I have to love everything about my partner.

Reality Check 1

You were born pure and pristine. You then learnt behaviors from your parents, teacher, coaches, church etc. (who did their best to teach you about a better relationship). These behaviors have become the backbone for your way of living and having a better relationship.

Perhaps a common behavior that irritates having a better relationship would be leaving the toilet seat up after use. This is merely a behavior and not the essence of the person. However, when you may consider this behavior to be the person, this destroys the concept of a better relationship, creating all kinds of conflict in your need for a better relationship.

Myth 2 Love means that I can fix your partner.

Reality Check 2

You met your partner because of some special quality or charteristic that you admired. You need to accept and allow that quality to flourish in order to allow you and your partner to grow into a better relationship.
You may be unaware that you do not even like yourself. Yet by allowing your partner to grow and expand, you will experience the quality of your partner and the beauty within you, as you begin to enjoy a better relationship.

Myth 3

I am supposed to give up the things I like in order to be in a better relationship.

Reality Check 3

Giving up the things you like to be in a better relationship is like take a knife and cutting away a part of yourself.
Your better relationship is  based on the uniqueness of you and your partner.
When you give up your uniqueness you rob yourself of a better relationship, your passion and your partner of your creativity.

Myth 4 I will be rescued by a knight in shining armour.

Reality Check 4

You may have been conditioned to live your life expecting someone to take care of you. What happens if that person becomes ill? and is no longer able to take care of you.

Your responsibility in creating a better relationship, is to bring your passion to the table of your relationship. Some days you will be the knight in shining armour and another day your partner will be the knight in shining armour of a better relationship.

You will each get a chance to  shine like star in a better relationship because of your strengths and weaknesses.

Myth 5 It cost a lot to be in a relationship.

Reality Check 5

In a material context, a better relationship can be expensive if you think that love is based on the bigger house, car or boat. Although some of these material assets are necessary, they should not be at the expense of creating a better relationship.

Love is creating a better relationship by building a relationship that is based on the simple things in life, like walking and holding hands, going on a picnic (just the two of you), or sharing an ice cream.
Love in a better relationship is not about what you show on the outside but what you express in you heart. Love is not about money or materialism, love just is.

Myth 6 Love in a relationship is or is not a feeling.

Reality Check 6

It is not what you say, it is what you do. You can say, “I love you”  which may be merely words and no feelings (action). Love is  the action of doing.

If you make a cup of tea for yourself, (the water is boiled), make a cup of tea for your partner. Whether your partner wants the tea or not is irrelevant, it is the thought that counts and the action that cements a better relationship.
Myth 7 I don’t have to work at my relationship.

Reality Check 7

As a child, you learned to creep before you walked. Then you learned the letters of the alphabet. In order to write, you had to learn how to put those letters together to make words and sentences.
These sentences then become the way in which you communicated.

When you and your partner stop communicating after learning how to use the letters of the alphabet in sentences, it’s like 2 tape recorders talking to each other – Nobody is at home to enjoy a better relationship.

In summary:
1. Your partner’s behavior in a better relationship is not your partner’s true essence.
2. There is no need to have a clone of yourself. A better relationship requires some variety.
3. Giving up of your uniqueness to be in a better relationship is like throwing out the baby with the bath water.
4. In a better relationship there are no superior partners, just equal partners.
5. Love in creating a  better relationship is not about money and the material assets (although there are important) but the simple things in life.
6. Love in a better relationship is active not passive.
7. Lack of communication crushes your desire for a better relationship.

Warning Signs That She is Not Interested in You Anymore

To break up a relationship is a harder decision
when we talk about a long term one.

In most cases when woman is no longer interested
in a relationship she doesn’t want to be the one
to end it. But even when she is already made the
decision to break it up, she will take some time
to give you some signs to prepare you, before she
tells you.

If you feel that something is going wrong it is
time to take a closer look at your relationship.
Here are seven warning signs she is no longer

1. This is probably the most classic subtle
signal of all: her life become too hectic. She
hasn’t picked up the phone for a few days and
when she does, she is busy and pretending that
she doesn’t have time to met you. This isn’t
necessarily a sign that it is over, but if you
are used to meet her frequently then there is
something wrong.

2. Eventually, when she decided to spend some
time with you she keeps looking around to find
something to do or someone else to talk to.
However, when a woman is interested, she puts in
the effort by giving you her full attention.

3. She’s secretive and no longer wants to tell
you where she has been or who was on the phone.

4. Don’t forget that women love to talk. If she
doesn’t ask you questions and shows no interest
in what you have to say and when you ask her
questions she limits her answers to “yes” and “no”
she has a problem. Can it be the relationship
with you?

5. Is she causing arguments over stupid little
things? If nothing you do or say isn’t right
anymore and all that goes wrong is your fault you
can start to worry.

6. She refuses the presents you make. Women love
to get presents, so if she turns yours down, she
can feel guilty because she is thinking to break
up with you, especially if you know she was about
to buy that thing for herself.

7. She talks about divorce or break up of other
people relationship, as a positive thing. Maybe a
friend of her just has braked up with her
boyfriend and now she is doing much better.

In the game of romance, few things are black and
white. Most of the points above are assumptions
based on commonly used techniques. There is room
for interpretations and misunderstandings but all
this can make you wonder if everything is ok and
discuss the problems you might have.

Clues That Your Partner Is Cheating On You

Cheating is the worst form of destruction to your
relationship or marriage; it is already
considered a betrayal of the vows they took when
they got married. The discovery of the act of
cheating by the other half can either break the
marriage or make it stronger depending on the
strength of their love for one another.

Cheating generally means that you are not fully
satisfied with your current partner or you feel
that something is missing in the relationship. If
you were completely in love and happy within your
relationship, why it might happen that your
partner have an affair?

Trust is a big reason, not of your partner, but
yourself. Probably for some time you have sensed
something is different or questioned the change
of behavior in your partner.

Nobody deserves to be cheated on, no matter what
state your marriage is in and if you believe your
partner is having an affair now is the time to
check it out and do a little investigation just
to be sure.

Start by looking for the obvious things such as a
change in the way your partner dresses, a sudden
desire to look good, a change in work patterns,
an unusual interest in the gym, secrecy over
phone calls or emails, a loss of intimacy in your
marriage, lack of sexual interest or distance
between you that never used to exist. In the
worst case you may spy her.

A cheating wife can cause much emotional trauma,
not to mention the harm it could cause a family.

Here are some important clues that might help you
to find out if your partner is having an affair.

1.Changes in appearance and attitude. She has a
sudden preoccupation with her appearance. She is
more interested on how she dresses; go often to a
hair salon and even to gym, even if this wasn’t
her main priority before.

2.Lessened intimacy. If in the past you used to
share everything with your wife and then suddenly
she seems distanced and clams up when you try to
discuss intimate things, it could mean that she
has already distanced herself emotionally and
mentally from you. She is suddenly frigid and
loses any interest in doing anything with her

3.She’s being secretive. She’s no longer sharing
her daily events with you. She might avoid you
because she feels guilty. Don’t get paranoid and
suspicious, ask her if everything is ok and tell
her she’s been acting differently lately.

4.Disinterest in family. If your wife is no
longer excited to meet you at the door from work
there must be a problem here. Or when your
partner feels the sudden need to go out try to
find a reason to accompany her. If she comes up
with a reason that she had to go on her own push
the issue, not too much but just enough to see if
she becomes more uncomfortable.

5.Less arguing and fighting. She used to get
angry if you didn’t want to come out with her and
her friends, but now everything you do is all
right by her. Once upon a time, your every move
had to be premeditated, but now all the small
things you used to mess up aren’t enraging her.
This could be a good thing, but you wonder why
she no longer cares.

6.More phone and internet. In the last time she
speaks a lot at the telephone using a low voice
or whisper on the phone and hangs up quickly.
Maybe she set up a new e-mail account and doesn’t
tell you about it. Watch out because she might
buy a cell phone and doesn’t let you know. Ask
her if she is being true with you and if she
becomes accusatory then it is obvious that she is
cheating you.

7.She’s always late. In the past she never came
home late but now this happens more and more. Her
explanation is that she had to stay more at the
office because she has a lot of work to do. Or
she goes to the store and comes home four hours
later. This is really a reason to worry.

Cheating spouses often look and act guilty, give
a general feeling that something isn’t right.
They try and avoid meaningful conversations, keep
everything at a general and non intimate level.